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Publisher Description
**Winner of the 2018 Telegraph Sports Book Awards Sports Bestseller of the Year**
'Very funny on almost every page, wonderfully self-deprecating and very sharp on the ludicrous behaviour of the modern player' - Sunday Times
'The funniest man in British sport' - Metro
Featured on BBC Radio 2 with Chris Evans
You become a footballer because you love football. And then you are a footballer, and you’re suddenly in the strangest, most baffling world of all. A world where one team-mate comes to training in a bright red suit with matching top-hat, cane and glasses, without any actual glass in them, and another has so many sports cars they forget they have left a Porsche at the train station. Even when their surname is incorporated in the registration plate.
So walk with me into the dressing-room, to find out which players refuse to touch a football before a game, to discover why a load of millionaires never have any shower-gel, and to hear what Cristiano Ronaldo says when he looks at himself in the mirror.
We will go into post-match interviews, make fools of ourselves on social media and try to ensure that we never again pay £250 for a haircut that should have cost a tenner. We’ll be coached and cajoled by Harry Redknapp, upset Rafa Benitez and be soothed by the sound of an accordion played by Sven-Goran Eriksson’s assistant Tord Grip. There will be some very bad music and some very bad decisions.
I am Peter Crouch. This is How To Be A Footballer. Shall we?
Can’t get enough of Crouch? Tune into That Peter Crouch Podcast on Radio 5 Live
APPLE BOOKS REVIEW
Asked what he would have been had he not become a professional footballer, Peter Crouch once answered with the iconic: “A virgin.” That he’s now responsible for one of sport’s great self-deprecating autobiographies, therefore, comes as little surprise. The former England international tackles his memoir in typically unconventional style, addressing a different element of football life in each chapter. This makes for a brilliantly paced read; Crouch jumps fluently between the various stops of his eventful career and spills beans in a way that feels affectionate to former teammates and bosses rather than indiscreet.
How to be a footballer
I have no interest in football but as I like Peter Crouch thought I'd give it a go.
This was one of the funniest books I've read and Peter Crouch comes over as such a lovely lad.
It's well worth a read.
Class
Great read, really enjoyed it.
Peter Crouch - How to be a Footballer.
What a amazingly written enjoyable read. The photos made me smile, appreciatively. Peter Crouch, what a genuine and amusing, informative person on a topic he adores. And, the love he has for his whole family shines through. What a lovely person.
Karen Holbeche